Life is a Roller Coaster Ride

Teaching is like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it sucks totally, so much that you really feel like you're screwing up the lives of kids and really want to quit to avoid ruining the futures of more lives. Sometimes just a simple statement from the students will bring you to cloud nine and erase away all your fatigue. Hearing students say that they liked coming to class, preferring to attend my class to other classes, passing their tests make me feel that no matter how physically and mentally drained I am, it is all worth it. It is having kids like this who makes me feel a greater need to do all that I can to help them improve their grades. I know this happiness is short-lived as I cant guarantee every lesson is a fulfilling one where I achieve all my expectations, but how long can my passion in teaching sustain? 

Credits: https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8413/8710087045_70ea238726_z.jpg

Credits: http://33.media.tumblr.com/75f0ea5e2e7d58896b4595fbb5d7c045/tumblr_mjmpmqoFmO1qh8iwno1_500.jpg

Efforts not appreciated. So much for putting in so much time and effort into designing and writing notes, planning the lesson and trying to find interesting videos to engage the class. Kids who are not even interested in helping themselves. I really cannot understand why these kids still come to tuition despite being indifferent about learning and come here just to waste time and money. Not only that, they are disturbing others' learning experiences. Every passing moment further compound the doubt that I cast on myself. Halfway through my disastrous lesson I felt super guilty for not being able to achieve what I wanted the class to achieve. Lesson today sucked, but I shall persevere for the remaining one month of relief tutoring. In the meantime, an exotic flavored Chocolate Coconut Pocky to make my day slightly better.

Student said to me " Teacher, I think you should bring panadol next lesson, in case you headache. Or you can tell your family to call 911 if you're not home by a specific time".

The best advice my student ever give to me. Dont know to laugh or to cry.

Passion vs Strength

Today's tuition didnt go as well as expected. Despite planning so much and putting in so much effort trying to make sure the students understand, I doubt my efforts and patience was appreciated as it was drowned in the students' noises and handphone addictions. Babbling in their own groups, playing with their phones in class. Whatever. Honestly, I don't care about what individuals do in my class. "If it is not meant from the heart, it is not worth doing it". If you are not interested in my class, so be it. I won't expend energy trying to engage you in the class as it is not worth my effort and it is unfair to others who are truly interested in learning. So I dedicate my remaining energy and passion to delivering the lessons to those who are truly interested in learning, who truly want to make their money worth, who truly want to understand the mysterious beauty of learning. I believe, since you are matured enough to walk from your home to my class, you should be matured enough to understand the importance of paying attention. So I shall not waste time and effort trying to teach basic manners and principles of learning.

During the afternoon over lunch I was discussing with my mum and decided that I will go for teaching career upon graduation because of my passion in communicating with kids. However halfway through my lesson today, I doubted my capabilities. If I can't even control a small class of 8 how am I supposed to teach classes in future? If I can't teach a simple Math concept efficiently how am I supposed to make significant improvements to the kids' results?

Passion is one thing. Strength is another thing. People say if you like what you're doing you become good at it. But for my case they are two different things. I am not good at what I am passionate in. So which road should I take?

Credits: http://www.pinterest.com/explore/lucas-scott/

TGIF: Last day of internship

TGIF. After spending 20 days together, today marks the last day of our internship. Despite being a short 20 days internship with each day having only 6 effective hours spent together, it is amazing how we manage to bond so tightly together that we start talking with the same style and accent:P I'm really grateful for this bunch of crazy nonsensical buddies. Without them, I bet I'll just quit the job within the first 2 days because of some shit that happened. They are the best bunch of people to be around, always there to entertain me with their lame nonsense, funny shit and impromptu activities. I'll really miss you guys, can't wait to meet up with you guys soon^^

It is indeed tiring to handle two jobs at the same time, tutoring at night and interning in daytime. However I find it fulfilling and interning is never tiring because my fellow interns are my source of caffeine. They always keep my hyped up through the incessant gossiping sessions:P Shag max at the end of the day, but I find it a fulfilling day because teaching is a benevolent job, plus interning at a social enterprise really taught me useful business concepts.

Feeling the love from my beloved intern <3

 One bad thing is I am too occupied with my work. Mondays to Fridays internship. Tues to Thursdays I have tuition at night. That leaves me with no time and energy to meet up with friends, making me guilty to reject my friends' meetings:( Thankfully, I managed to meet this bunch of awesome friends on my last day of internship:) I love how we are always filled with enthusiasm and lots of exciting stories whenever we meet. Sorry if I was abit quiet and dao today cos I was drained from days of work:/ Wishing these 2 all the best in their stuffs and have a safe trip to wherever they're traveling to^^

My awesome crazy nonsense gang

"If it's not from the heart, it is not worth doing it" 

(credits to a social worker whom I worked under last time, Mr Jonathon Toh)