Indeed, $50 per lesson is not alot of money. But as the saying goes, "do more of what makes you happy". Strangely, I derive great pleasure and satisfaction from planning lessons and designing activities for my tuition sessions:) Despite being greatly discouraged by my poor teaching and how students fail to comprehend concepts, rendering my teaching useless at times, I shall persevere in designing my lessons. Hopefully my efforts will be recognized by the students as reflected in their grades.

At times, I really feel that I am a useless teacher who can't teach concepts properly. This makes me very demoralized and unwilling to plan for any more lessons and want to just shut out the route to teaching career. But the thing is, there are only two choices in life. Either do something that you like or something that you are good at. I can't find anything that I am good at. If I shut off my option which I am passionate about, what am I left with?

Passion vs Strength

Today's tuition didnt go as well as expected. Despite planning so much and putting in so much effort trying to make sure the students understand, I doubt my efforts and patience was appreciated as it was drowned in the students' noises and handphone addictions. Babbling in their own groups, playing with their phones in class. Whatever. Honestly, I don't care about what individuals do in my class. "If it is not meant from the heart, it is not worth doing it". If you are not interested in my class, so be it. I won't expend energy trying to engage you in the class as it is not worth my effort and it is unfair to others who are truly interested in learning. So I dedicate my remaining energy and passion to delivering the lessons to those who are truly interested in learning, who truly want to make their money worth, who truly want to understand the mysterious beauty of learning. I believe, since you are matured enough to walk from your home to my class, you should be matured enough to understand the importance of paying attention. So I shall not waste time and effort trying to teach basic manners and principles of learning.

During the afternoon over lunch I was discussing with my mum and decided that I will go for teaching career upon graduation because of my passion in communicating with kids. However halfway through my lesson today, I doubted my capabilities. If I can't even control a small class of 8 how am I supposed to teach classes in future? If I can't teach a simple Math concept efficiently how am I supposed to make significant improvements to the kids' results?

Passion is one thing. Strength is another thing. People say if you like what you're doing you become good at it. But for my case they are two different things. I am not good at what I am passionate in. So which road should I take?

Credits: http://www.pinterest.com/explore/lucas-scott/