Sense of hesitant. Reluctance. Fear.

Went back Block Dee to witness the incoming batch of freshies undergo block culture today. Unknowingly, it has been a year since I was a councillor, sitting there trying to hype up the freshies despite fatigue looming over me. Now the batch of freshies which I led has taken over the role of councillor and doing a great job in integrating freshies into our block. As much as they are tired, I can tell that the excitement in bringing joy and fun to the freshies is still their priority as they put in 100% effort and energy into the activities, be it taking care of freshies or playing of games. Now a year 3 senior, I can enjoy the comfort of simply sitting there and watching show. Possibly the last time I'm witnessing block culture as I doubt I'll be staying in hall for Year 4, Block D is indeed a major part of my life. As I was talking to another hall friend of mine, I realized all our habits and talking styles and behaviors are shaped by hall life. Sheares Hall and more importantly, Block Dee, shaped us how we are now. Perhaps this is the major reason why I chose to stay in year 3. I am reluctant to change. I do agree that hall life takes a toll on our external social and personal life but up till now I am not regretting. With a change in social dynamics given that some familiar faces are leaving the hall, there is definitely going to be changes. Will I regret staying in hall for year 3? I have no idea. All I can do now is hope that there will be people tolerant of my high frequency and click well with me. If I never try I will never know.

1 more week to moving in to D704 again. Sense of hesitant. Sense of reluctance. Sense of fear. 

SHY'14

In the blink of an eye, this is the 3rd SHY I have went for. It seemed like it was just yesterday when I donned in a white tee shirt and walking up the stairs to MPSH, greeted by groups of strangers who gradually turned into important puzzles forming part of my life. Now, it is already the 2nd batch of freshies that I am welcoming to Sheares Hall. Not a councillor, not a block commer. This time, it was on a voluntary basis and I was really glad I went for SHY.

It was horribly awkward at the start, with me retreating to a corner not knowing who to talk to. All the freshies were playing games and those close to me had already moved to other halls. I really felt like just leaving the place as there was just no one whom I can talk to. Luckily, some familiar faces approached me and eased my awkwardness. If not for them I bet I'd be on the MRT home half an hour after I reached SHY. I guess this is another new chapter of my book. I had to deal with all these awkwardness, getting used to being alone and making new friends again. All new freshies in my short wing, no more familiar year 3 seniors around to talk about what happened during our years, some people distancing away for I dont know what reasons. Sad it may be, but I know I have to learn to deal with it. Thankfully, from the interactions I had with the freshies, they seem like a bunch of nice people who are patient and fun to talk to, so I guess my assimilation process will be eased:) Hopefully I am able to deal with this huge change in social environment and that my final year in Sheares Hall will be a happy one:)

The new blk d family

Sad truth of life
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