Sense of hesitant. Reluctance. Fear.

Went back Block Dee to witness the incoming batch of freshies undergo block culture today. Unknowingly, it has been a year since I was a councillor, sitting there trying to hype up the freshies despite fatigue looming over me. Now the batch of freshies which I led has taken over the role of councillor and doing a great job in integrating freshies into our block. As much as they are tired, I can tell that the excitement in bringing joy and fun to the freshies is still their priority as they put in 100% effort and energy into the activities, be it taking care of freshies or playing of games. Now a year 3 senior, I can enjoy the comfort of simply sitting there and watching show. Possibly the last time I'm witnessing block culture as I doubt I'll be staying in hall for Year 4, Block D is indeed a major part of my life. As I was talking to another hall friend of mine, I realized all our habits and talking styles and behaviors are shaped by hall life. Sheares Hall and more importantly, Block Dee, shaped us how we are now. Perhaps this is the major reason why I chose to stay in year 3. I am reluctant to change. I do agree that hall life takes a toll on our external social and personal life but up till now I am not regretting. With a change in social dynamics given that some familiar faces are leaving the hall, there is definitely going to be changes. Will I regret staying in hall for year 3? I have no idea. All I can do now is hope that there will be people tolerant of my high frequency and click well with me. If I never try I will never know.

1 more week to moving in to D704 again. Sense of hesitant. Sense of reluctance. Sense of fear.